Man caught masturbating in Walmart parking lot tells cops he’s “lonely”

Colorado resident arrested for solo sex act outside Florida store blames behavior on missing his ex-girlfriend.

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mug shot of Kyle Weiss
Kyle Weiss
(Indian River County Sheriff's Office)

A man busted this week for pleasuring himself in the parking lot of a Florida Walmart told cops the “lonely” feeling of missing his ex-girlfriend was just too hard to handle.

Kyle Weiss, 26, was exposed Wednesday afternoon at a Walmart in Vero Beach after a female shopper allegedly saw the self-help session in full swing inside a Kia with out-of-state plates parked outside the store.

The woman, who had parked next to Weiss, reported to police that he was masturbating behind the wheel of the car with the driver’s side window open, according to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Arriving officers asked Weiss to step out of the vehicle, only to be confronted with firm evidence of his guilt.

“I noticed that he had an obvious erection protruding in his shorts,” a cop noted in the report.

Weiss initially denied exposing himself, telling officers he was at the retailer for his Uber Eats-style business “buying food and delivering it to customers.”

But during further questioning he eventually caved, confessing to the solo sex act and explaining that “he is lonely as his ex-girlfriend is in Colorado,” the report states.

The Denver man also told police he did not realize he “could be seen playing with himself.”

Weiss was arrested for exposure of sexual organs and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors.

He was released from the county jail Wednesday night after posting $1,000 bond, and is due to be arraigned on March 23.

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