The rise in porch piracy means that new starters in this disreputable field have to work hard to distinguish themselves from their thieving peers.
But one rookie pilferer in Connecticut had no such trouble standing out from the criminal crowd this week.
Kristin Levine’s annoyance that her Amazon delivery had vanished from outside her Bristol home turned to shock when a review of security footage revealed the culprit: a black bear.
“This guy just took my package!” she wrote Monday in a Facebook post including video of the ursine buccaneer. “You think Amazon gives replacements for bear thieves?!?”
“Amazon had dropped off the packages maybe five minutes before, and I got the alert on my security camera,” Levine told NBC Connecticut. “And then I got a second alert five minutes later, and I was taken aback because I wasn’t expecting anyone else in my driveway.”
The unannounced driveway dude turned out to be a black bear, who nonchalantly made off with the package.
“We’re definitely used to bears around our neighborhood,” Levine told McClatchy News. “Although I’ve never actually had one take a package out of my garage before! And this guy was quite a big one!”
Sadly for the bear, the contents of the box turning out to be nothing more appetizing than Levine’s order of scented toilet paper.
‘Perhaps the bear just wanted a lavender scented tush?’, she commented on Facebook.
Or perhaps not. The creature ditched the plunder in a neighbor’s yard, doubtless disappointed that paw-ch piracy hadn’t yielded a tastier reward.
But then again, who said that crime paid?